My last two days.... Thank you, Vivint...

 

The Vivint Episode

 

On Monday evening, June 30, 2025, at approximately 8:15 PM, I answered a knock at the front door. The knocker, a young man in his 20’s had knocked earlier, but I wasn’t able to get to the door.  I stepped outside and asked what he wanted. It was obvious to me that he was selling something.

He said he was offering really, really good deals on security systems by a company called Vivint. He had a front-yard sign and pointed to my neighbor’s house across the street where a sign like it was displayed. He mentioned the neighbor’s name and said they had installed a system there. He also mentioned that he’d seen my cameras on the house.

I told him that we were planning on moving at some point in the near future. At that point he asked if he could come in and show us what their system could do and give me some prices. I made the mistake of being polite and said OK.

For the next two and a half hours we were overwhelmed with information about all the amazing and wonderful things their equipment could do. It could scare away snoopers or package thieves. It could call the Police, Fire department, Ambulances, etc. It could monitor temperatures in the house. It could detect smoke, CO2, gas leaks, and probably my farts. I could remotely view the cameras (2 only) on their app.

It would be the greatest thing we could possibly do for ourselves and could be installed immediately (more on that in a bit).

He then totaled up the monthly prices for a 5-year program. The prices were actually not that bad, and I made the mistake of saying that. By the time he left a little after 10:00PM, the system was ordered, and the first part of the installation would take place – at around 11:00PM that same night. The installers (some missing teeth dude and his girlfriend) installed the main control panel, some door sensors, and a couple smoke sensors. They finally left a bit before midnight. They didn’t clean up after themselves, and left staples laying on the floor where they could be stepped on.

Not terribly impressive. The guy said they would be back to complete the installation on 07/02 (Wednesday).

At no point in this avalanche of promotional chatter was any opportunity provided me an opportunity to think things over (perhaps overnight) or even say yes or no to the deal as far as I can remember.

After a mostly sleepless night provided by the extremely bright green light from the control panel (which was installed in the dining room) and repeatedly going over the whole episode in my mind (what’s left of it), we decided Tuesday morning to just forget it, cancel the whole thing, and not have to pay another monthly bill.

I started the cancellation procedure about noon. What we had to go through made the previous evening look like a walk in the park.

First, I called Isaac, the fellow that provided us with the previous evening’s “entertainment.” I told him several reasons I wanted to cancel. I answered the inevitable torrent of questions. I could tell he was not happy by the several seconds of silence. He finally told me to just call the “customer care” number in the brochure he gave me.

I knew I was probably in for a long battle, but I had no idea……

The first person I spoke with was, of course, someone I could barely understand. I told her I wanted to just go ahead and cancel the rest of the installation, and my account, and gave her the reasons why. I was asked for a security code which I had no idea what it was. After several minutes of back and forth, I was provided with the code.

“I’ll bring up your account now; just a moment” I was told in (very) broken English. She came back, verified my name and address. Then it started… The “alternate opportunities.” She could give me a discount on a two-month trial period. “No,” I said, “I just want to cancel.” Another alternate offer. No. I just want to cancel. Another alternate offer. NO! I just want to cancel! This went on for several more minutes. “Just a moment, I have to check with something. Please stay connected.”

After a 7 – 8 minute wait she came back. “I cannot do a cancel from here, I need to connect you with another representative. Please stay connected..”

After about 10 minutes, another representative came on; a guy this time. “Who am I speaking with?” Gave him my name. Gave him my email (I did not use my main email for the account). Gave him my phone number. Gave him the security code. “How may I help you?” Rinse and repeat the previous paragraph. Offer, offer, offer, offer, offer. No, I just want to cancel. Repeat six times. “I need to check on some things, please stay connected.”

12 minute wait.

“Hello, sir. I need to connect you with our loyalty team. Please stay connected.”

Rinse and repeat.

By the time I got to the 7^th person in the line, I was ready to call up the B-2s and see how many GBU-57s they could put through the same hole in the roof of Vivint’s headquarters.

After several minutes of alternate offers from the 7^th barely understandable female representative, I finally blew a fuse. “CANCEL MY ACCOUNT!!! I DON’T WANT ANY MORE OFFERS! I AM TIRED OF JUMPING THROUGH YOUR HOOPS AND PLAYING YOUR GAMES!!! CANCEL MY DAMN ACCOUNT!!!! NOW!!!!!!!

And hung up.

After 10 – 15 minutes of chilling and getting my heart – rate back down, I tried to call Vivint’s so-called customer care again.

“This call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.”

Next try: “This call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.”

Next 2 tries: “This call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.”

I logged on to Vivint’s website, found another number. Tried it.

“This call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.”

WTF??? Did they block my number?

Called Isaac again. “This call cannot be completed. The user is unavailable to take your call. Please leave a message at the tone.”

“Isaac, it’s Rod. I cannot get through on any of the numbers after getting disconnected (Yeah, I lied. They can, why can’t I?). What do I need to do to get this accomplished?”

I got back on Vivint’s website, fount the ‘support’ page. Clicked the chat button. After a few minutes, a rep named Jessica or something like that. I went through the whole long story with her. After a series of questions and alternate offers, she asked if I could call on the phone. I told her of my difficulties trying to do just that. I let her know that was the reason I went to the website chat.

“Let me see if I can find another way to get this accomplished.”

10 minute wait.

She finally came back with a phone number. At the same time, Isaac texted me another number. I called the first number and was connected with another customer “care” representative. Once again, alternative offers. Once again I had to repeat multiple times “I just want to cancel. Can you PLEASE just do that for me?”

Once more, “Let me connect you with our loyalty team.” Rinse and repeat. Another 10 minutes of alternate offers. All these “alternate offers” by the way, were all exactly the same, over and over each time I spoke / chatted with another person in the line.

This time, the guy I spoke with actually acted like he wanted to help me. He must have been a new hire. He said he was taking notes on my situation (and what I’d been through for almost three hours at this point), and would stay on the line with me while I was transferred yet again – to someone in the cancellation department.  After an almost 20 minute wait (he checked in with me a few times) I was finally connected to someone in the cancellations department.

Once again, a complete and detailed explanation of why I wanted to cancel. Once again, 10 – 12 minutes of alternate offers. The same ones I had turned down 40 – 50 times.

I was beyond frustrated at this point – far beyond it. I finally had more than enough times 1,000,000 or so.

“WHY is it so goddamned hard to understand I just want to CANCEL?? Can you PLEASE just cancel my damn account?? PLEASE?”

I was advised to calm down and watch my language. He said he knew why I was frustrated, but he could cancel and was filling out some paperwork.

Gee….. I can’t imagine why I’d be frustrated…

Finally! Finally! After three and a half hours, the cancelation was submitted!!

Now, of course the beginning bits and pieces that were installed late last night need to be removed. I asked if the guy and girl that were coming back out Wednesday would do that. He told me there was a “removal team” that would un-install everything, and they would contact me Wednesday. They want to keep the installation and removal techs separate.

So, we shall see from this point what happens. It is now Tuesday evening, so the last few bits of this episode have yet to be added.

I can pretty much guarantee that should I consider a commercial security company in the future, it will most assuredly NOT be Vivint.